Visions in scary places

I actually consider myself to be a painfully left brained person. I write, I draw, I paint, but I do it very realistically. I have not been able to break free of drawing from a photo or real life, and most of the writing I have done in my life has been logical, persuasive writing....

What I Am NOT Looking For

Spring has sprung here in Iowa. They say it's nice to live in a place with four seasons, and here you can have all four of them in a couple of weeks. We actually had an early spring, and beautiful little flowers started growing in our yard. They were like hope. But then the snow...

Eve

Since you asked (really, you did!), I am still alive. And things are looking up a little bit. Winter was long and hard. It was cold and wet, it was filled with sickness and injuries in my household. I had a major identity crisis, which has alllllmost been resolved. You probably will not believe this,...

Do not be afraid

I had my regular check-up with my oncologist yesterday. I have these every three months, and they basically consist of blood tests, a chat and a physical exam, checking lymph nodes, etc. It is now a year and a half since I finished treatment, and at every checkup I get a reassuring, "everything looks good,"...

Self love does not equal selfish love

My exercise this week for my Cosmic Smash Book gave me some pause. The subject was self love, a sticky subject for me. I started out life as an only child -- the only child, in fact, in my generation. Of course, my parents weren't perfect, but I was poured into and over and I...

2019 Intention: FEARLESS

I have chosen the word to set my intention for 2019. FEARLESS. Now just give me a moment to pop an Ativan and I'll tell you all about it. I chose this word because I have started out this year a great big giant bundle of fear, and I'm done with it. I thought about...

It was as if a million voices cried out

I took the photo above on a trip through the detour around the California wildfires last summer. It looked like even the sun was on fire. I didn't live anywhere near the fires, although I did live near enough that the Bay Area was covered with smoke that pushed air quality into hazardous ranges that...

Loss in the shadows

Funny how sometimes you do something, and only afterwards realize that what you were actually doing was something totally different. I know this statement probably makes no sense. But I spent this morning roaming around Lake Chabot looking for my missing kitties. Someone on the street had recently trapped the cats on our street and...

Schizophrenic gratitude

I have seen a lot of people posting gratitude journals online. I've thought about it, but, well, life has been a bit hard lately. This morning, however, I realized that I have a lot of gratitude. It's just a bit schizophrenic. For example, I am grateful for: Hot showers. I always hate to get into...

Okay God, what do you want from me now? (or, Everything Happens for a Reason, Part 1)

I got my official notification from the Department of Motor Vehicles yesterday. My driving privileges have been suspended, because my medical information was negative. It's not that I hadn't expected it, but I guess I had also expected an end date, like, we will review this on July 1st, or something like that. But it...