When things go wrong

Bad things happen. Each of those thing is a stone tossed into the waters of our lives, creating ripples spreading out from where it lands. Some of those ripples are more like tidal waves, threatening to drown us. Eventually, though, as they spread out they become ripples again. From that moment of impact, everything, absolutely...

Oceans of sorrow

Above you will see a photograph of all my family, taken four years ago on my daughter's wedding day. Today, two of those people are gone. The groom, one of the prettiest grooms I have ever seen, passed away one month ago. The young woman with the long black hair was my daughter-in-law. She passed...

When God doesn’t answer

I have to admit, I pray differently than most people. There is never an occasion when I offer up a prayer for favor that Michaela does not pass through my mind. I belong to the metastatic breast cancer community, and I see these women post scriptures promising answered prayers, healing. I am a part of...

Another kidnapping victim, another story

If it seems as though I have disappeared since Michaela's kidnapper was charged, you are right. Nor is it just my blog. It is true on Michaela's facebook page also. It started out as a technical issue. Facebook is always changing things up, and not always in a good way. I intended to use Michaela's...

Happy Birthday, Michaela!

Tomorrow is Michaela's birthday. I have struggled mightily with what to do with this day since she has been gone. For some years, I had a group of friends who came to my house, and we would sit in a circle and remember Michaela. But time and tides ended that practice. For years after that...

So many feelings….

What an emotional basket case I have been this morning. The first thing I laid eyes on this morning was a post by a woman I follow on Facebook and Instagram. She is very young and very beautiful and she has metastatic breast cancer. She is a single parent with three kids, ages ten and...

Merry Christmas, everyone!

I just wanted to write a short note for Christmas. I have received a number of messages of concern for me at this time of year, and I wanted to respond because I know that very many people have suffered losses, especially this year. My first Christmas without Michaela arrived just weeks after we lost...

Michaela’s case has been solved

I am writing this on Saturday, December 19, 2020. In two days the Hayward Police Department, Alameda County District Attorney, and FBI will announce to the world that after 32 years and 32 days, they have identified and charged Michaela's kidnapper with homicide. They have not found Michaela, but they have identified her kidnapper. He...

When all that’s left of me is love…

I bought a journal not too long ago, a beautiful one, with gold edged pages, for the purpose of writing messages to my children. I keep a journal, but that's for me to sort out my own thoughts. This one is a gift to my children for when I am no longer here. I wanted...

Michaela, never forgotten

This is a difficult morning. It started out with a dream in which I was supposed to be giving some public address. I was in a strange place, and for some reason I couldn't shower, or wash my hair, and I had no blow dryer or straightener, so I had this huge bedhead which people...